What It Was Like - 2-10-10

Do you know what it was like when I met B____? Why, as I have sacrificed him repeatedly and let him go, my love for him only grows?

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All my life, I had been different, on the outside looking in. I felt freakish even, at times. I never belonged anywhere, with anyone. I was like the last of a people, the only one of a species, the only speaker of my language. I never fit.

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And then he came and blew all my steadily built preconceived notions to bits. Not only was he amazing in and of himself, so like my father in so many ways, but he saw me. He got me. He understood my language, and lo and behold, he spoke it as a native. My eyes were opened to the wonder of finding one like me.

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When God created Adam, he let him come to the realization that he was missing one like himself. God made all the animals in pairs, surrounding Adam in connections with no thread linking him to any of them. God waited until like called for like in Adam’s soul, until he saw what he was missing even though he had never known it to begin with. It was only when Adam was truly primed with need and loneliness that he presented him with Eve. From the first, Adam could tell this was a creature like him: walked like him, spoke his language, built like him. His match. All the other creatures didn’t fit. Until Eve.

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I know what Adam felt. I knew that lack, that absence, that human-shaped void. And I knew the gasping wonder of finding one that actually fit.

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B____ is my Eve. Or I suppose I am his, as he was created before me. We are the same, he and I. Cut of the same cloth.

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And there is no one else. There is none like him, just as there is none like me. We were each one of a kind, only to find we were of the same kind. A people, population of two.

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He is the best. And I have never been able to settle for less than the best. And he is not the only one with a say in the matter.